This has been a turbelent week for me. An emotional rollercoster ride . I don"t know why but I have become so emotionally dependent . My emotions correlate with his actions . Maybe , the feelings heighten due to time . Lately , it has started to really dawn on me that time is running out.
I am sorry . I am sorry . I can't help but to expect too much . I can't help it . I just can't . When your actions surprise me , it makes me feel inadequate . I feel like I still don't know you enough . What am I suppose to feel ? We only have a few more weeks . I need to gather as many memories as possible . Happy ones , preferably . I know it should come naturally , and we do have lots of memories together . Nevertheless , I am scared that it is not enough . I am very scared of that .
Will we ever be this close again ? You can't give the answer . I can't give the answer . No one can . Time will tell . Will I ever be strong enough to face it ? I need to know . I need to know . I need to know to get me through . I don't need you to tell it to me . I need you to show me . I beg you to show me . I plead you to show me . Through the littlest things to the largest of things .
I can't afford subtlety right now . I need to see it . As clear as possible . I need certainty . Tell me . Show me . In any way . I always feel like I am not showing enough . Whenever it's subtle , I worry that you fail to read between the lines . Whenever it's clear , I wonder if it's clear enough .
You are my pillar of strength in life . Without you , I'll crumble to pieces .