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Friday, February 15, 2008, 1:11 AM
Valentine's
London has become tougher of late . Am i really a scholar material ? Can i pull thru ? Do I have what it takes ? Am I really doing what I want ? I did vote for the motion in UGM , but deep inside , I am not sure if I really know what I voted for . Can I stand up and give a good arguement for the motion ? Was I voting just because people around me said it's the right thing to do? Because ISOC said it's right ? I am not saying that it's wrong . It's just that I didnt feel like a deep connection with the motion . The only thing I know is that the motion is to make a stand against the companies that have been supporting Israel . Like it's only the surface of that matter . I guess it's my fault that I have been ignorant . I don't even know myself now . I wish it's Form 5 all over again . I wanna live thru Form 5 all over again . I wish I was in 5 Taat again . I wish I was in Rahman house again . Worrying about SPM , Nik Hussein and Gossips . I have NO ONE like Hanafi here . Someone who knows EVERYTHING about me . Someone who is not judgemental . Someone who guides me without being judgemental . Someone who shares secrets with me . Someone whom I can trust completely . Someone who thinks like me . Why can't Hanafi be here in London? I feel so lost lately . Time flies . I was rejected . Ugh . I hate rejections . I feel like an outsider right now . Am I an outsider ? Why? I have done everything possible . I have come to terms with the fact that I will NEVER be accepted . Taylor's does not suck . It sucks when your friends do not go to LSE with you . It sucks to start making friends . Worst : You thought that you have friends now . But the fact is , you are just mates . An acquaintance . If I was in their shoes , what would I have done ? My friend is celebrating end of test . What is so wrong with spending 2 hours with him? I asked my father to send me to Sunway Pyramid to watch movie with Hanafi . He came to KL from Batu Pahat to spend a day with me . Little things do make a difference . You can always try to make friends . But you are never guaranteed of finding one . I am so tired of trying . Please . I am so tired of trying . I just want Evelyn , Shal and Hanafi . I wanna go home . Zaril , be tough . It's ok. You only have a year to go . Make yourself proud . Make your family proud . Teman datang dan pergi . Kawan kekal selamanya .... |
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